Nene, Goddess of the Battlefield
(in her own way)

Shawn Hagen

November 1994

I wrote this and posted it on RAA about 6 months ago and found it again while looking through some old files. I thought that it might be appreciated, it is very funny, so I've been told, and probably informative.

Hope you like it. It is a bit long though.



Transcript of Professor Hagen's, ``Modern and ultramodern weapons, and how they pertain to our anime world'' lecture, September 13, 2036, Tokyo University. Note: this transcript is based on the notes of Tsukino Usagi who unfortunately had enough trouble just keeping up with the prof. As a result comments made by the students have gone unreported.

Good day ladies and gentlemen, would you please all take your seats, we have a lot of ground to cover today.

I was planning on discussing the use of Super Dimensional Battle Fortresses in defensive and offensive tasks but it has come to my attention that certain problems exist with information covered in last week's lectures on mercenary groups, their operation and armaments. Specifically the Knight Sabers. Before we go on with new material I will attempt to clear up the problems.

Now some of you have expressed some concern over Miss Romanova's placement in this group, claiming that she is useless at combat. Pardon Mr. Eto? Ah yes, Crash. Well admittedly she showed a definite improvement but let us stick with the primary source material of Crisis. Crash was not canon.

Okay, first, the other Knight Sabers. Priss and Linna, what is their job? And I swear if anyone says aerobics instructor or rock musician I will get very upset.

Yes, Mr. Moroboshi? Well, I'll admit there is some truth to that their job is to look cute and provide drooling material but that's not what I meant. No, providing a basis for rumours of bisexuality is not their job either. Mr. Moroboshi will you sit down and shut up!

Anyone else? Yes, Sasami. Exactly, combat. Very good. Uh you know you really shouldn't bring your rabbit? cat? whatever it is to class. Oh, it is. I guess that's alright than.

To use the military vernacular they are front line combat units.

On to Miss Stingray. Anyone know what her position is? Yes, trouble consultant Kei? I see. You are in a bad mood aren't you? Still basically, ignoring all the expletives, you are correct: C and C. No, Miss C-ko, commander and chief would be what she is, not what she does. Oh please stop crying, it was an easy mistake, one that anyone could make. Mumble mumble mumble mumble.

In this case C and C stands for command and control. Some of you have seen fit to mention that Miss Stingray doesn't seem to get into combat as much as Linna or Priss and also tends to lend a hand near the end of the battle. This only makes sense, one cannot properly command a battle if they are right in the middle of it, going toe to toe with the enemy. No, Mr. Yotsuya, I am not accepting bribes from Miss Stingray.

This leads us to Nene. Can anyone tell me what her job is? Yes, Miss Saiko? Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, Officer Saiko. Hmm. To look cute, be the little sister of the group and to be inept but in a cute way. You are a bitter young lady Officer Saiko. Well talk to him about it, I'm a professor, not a casting agent.

Does anyone else have an answer? No. No. Certainly not. No. No, Mr. Moroboshi, I don't have her phone number.

Enough. Once again in the military vernacular Nene is Services and Support, non-combative personnel. She, like medics, transport, supply and engineering does not engage in combat but her services are vital to any battlefield. While all these trades are capable of engaging in combat they tend not to be good at it and using them as infantry is just throwing away talent needed elsewhere.

I will now turn the lecture over to our visiting professor, Miss Mia Antaries. She will hopefully make everything clear to you, or as clear as possible.

Good day ladies and gentlemen, now since the good professor has already introduced me let's continue right on. Can anyone tell me what one of the more vital aspects of the modern, and even the ancient, battle field was? Yes, Mr. Satome? Well, I'll admit food was up there but that's not what I had in mind. Yes, proper intelligence so that you can crush your enemies is very important to the field of battle Miss B-ko and is related to my question.

Exactly Mr. Saxon, Jed isn't it? Ah, good. Communications, a very useful and important aspect of battle. Runners or radios, they all serve the same purpose. You're military aren't you Mr. Saxon? Yes, your knowledge of military matters was a good clue but its more the fact you have an assault rifle on your desk. I mean, how many of the other students are carrying weapons?

That many. I see. Trouble consultant Yuri, how did you manage to hide an assault cannon while wearing, and I use the term loosely, clothes that are that brief and with such a tiny purse. I see, with style and panache. Very funny. Now, oh my. Mr. Ota! Please take that Patrol Labour out to the parking lot this instant. I swear, mumble, mumble. Oh yes, that reminds me. Someone parked a golden mech that is blocking my parking space, plus several others. Does anyone know who it belongs to? Miss Atropos is it? Well I'm sorry you can't park it there. Yes I'm aware that you have a permit. The thing is that mech parking is on the south side of campus. Yes, after class will be fine.

Back to communications. Consider, the Boomer, a Bu12-B to be specific, one of my favourites. Mr. Moroboshi I am not at all surprised your favourites are the 33-S's. Will someone take care of him? Yes, Miss Lum, I think 50 thousand volts will do nicely.

The 12-Bs are a wonderful design. Primary weapons, a 46mm rail cannon and a 12.7mm rotary machine gun. Does anyone know the significance of these two weapons? Yes, Mr. Rivalson, and I'm sure your lawsuit against Genom will make for interesting conversation in your law lecture but not here. They blow big holes in things. You do have a talent for stating the obvious Miss Hiyama. Excuse me, Mr. Kasuga, Miss Ayukawa, where do you think you are going? I don't really care about your potential romantic problems. Return to your seats. Miss Hiyama, that goes for you as well.

Anyone else care to hazard a guess? No. Okay, both of the weapons are capable of indirect fire, artillery style if you will. I am getting to the point Mr. Crusher. Excuse me, you, Mr. Hibiki, class has already started you know? You got lost? Oh? Well have a seat.

Communication and indirect fire can be put together for a deadly combination. Let me explain, we will consider the Texas-Mexican border wars of three years ago using a hypothetical situation. It means imaginary Miss Tsukino.

Now, four 12-Bs were given the task of protecting an area along the border twenty seven kilometers in length. Most of it was rough terrain with five roads passing over it. Boomer A had just been involved in a battle with an infantry company and two APCs. It had destroyed all of its enemies but was out of ammunition. It was about to return to its command center for a reload when its sensors picked up three light tanks coming over the border.

Returning to the command post would take too much time, going at the three tanks hand to cannon would simply result in unit A's destruction. It linked up with the three other Boomers over the radio. Boomers B and D were involved in heavy fighting with Boomer C holding back to provide support if necessary. None of the Boomers could come to A's assistance directly. Indirectly was a different matter.

Using the information sent to it by Boomer A, C targeted the three tanks, setting the angle on his 46mm rail cannon and fired three shots quickly. Unfortunately for the tanks they were traveling along a road at a constant speed and all were hit. One was severely damaged to the point it couldn't move, the other two were impaired to varying degrees. Boomer A was able to engage the tanks separately as they could no longer stay together and protect one another. A was destroyed during this action though.

Pardon Mr. Songoku? Unfortunately no. Genom is rather tight fisted about their technology. I'm basing this mostly on technology that was available in the late twentieth century as well as pure logic, it just makes sense.

Now let's move these four 12-Bs off the border and into the city of MegaTokyo. Ah, but that's not the problem you think it is Mr. Kaosu. Floating serenely over the city of MegaTokyo are a large number satellites, many of them communication satellites. Now it does not matter how many kilometers of concrete and electrical wiring there are between the Boomers, they just have to bounce their signals off a satellite. True, Miss Electra, if they were underground, in the sewers or deserted and not so deserted subway tunnels their communications may very well be disrupted but indirect fire tends to be of questionable use underground anyway.

Consider a battle between the Knight Sabers and these four Boomers. We have seen from past encounters that the KS are quite capable of handling these Boomers. Boomer A has managed to pin Priss down behind a rather substantial piece of architecture she is using for cover, knowing full well her armour will not stand up all that well to a 46mm round traveling several times the speed of sound. If you are interested in the tactics of lightly armoured weapon systems in urban settings you may wish to read Professor Shirow's work, available in the Appleseed Journal.

Boomer A has a few choices. It can open up fire on Priss's cover, hoping to chip it away over time though this is likely just to waste ammo. It could attempt to move for a better angle for its shot but while it's moving Priss is likely to do the same and the hunter becomes the hunted. Or it could call on Boomer C, who happens to be free at the moment and feed it information. Boomer C at this point would have three vital pieces of information. It would know exactly where it and Boomer A were down to the centimeter and it would have a very good idea of Priss's location, as good as Boomer A could give it. It fires and suddenly Priss is either being hit by an attacker she can't see, or is having very unfriendly fire landing right beside her. She moves, most likely right into the sights of Boomer A and boom, one less Knight Saber.

This doesn't happen though. The Boomers don't seem to coordinate their actions as well as they should when fighting the Knight Sabers. Why? Interesting. Let me deal with those answers one at a time.

I really doubt Boomers are stupid, Miss Gena. Oh, admittedly I wouldn't want one for its sparkling conversation but in military matters they would be my first choice, one of them at least. You don't become one of the largest companies in the world by being stupid, Mr. Sie. Genom does not ignore technology that could make their product more saleable. That the creators are stupid is a rather philosophical remark Miss Anipuma and as such will not be dealt with in this class. Cute ears though.

So does anyone know why the Boomers do not seem to be able to coordinate themselves as much as one would expect? Anyone? Mr. Saxon, what do you think? Where is Mr. Saxon? He left. Why? What's a Toots? Oh, it's a who. I see. Rather gallant that. What was that Miss Matsunaga, Mikage isn't it? Yes, exactly. ECM. Electronic counter measures. No, there's no need to go into any more detail. Elder Matsunaga, keep your hand away from your sister's, no one teleports out of this lecture.

Now who is the Knight Saber most likely to be in charge of ECM. Anyone, anyone? Ah, yes Mr. Bueller, Nene is the correct answer. If you don't mind my asking isn't this the wrong genre for you. Oh, an exchange student.

The Boomers are reacting to this, trying to counter the jamming, ECCM, counter counter measures. Because they, or the people who programmed them, know the value of communication they will be attempting to jam their enemy's communications as well. Now which Knight Saber will likely be in charge of keeping their communication lines open? And since they never have any problem communicating either someone is working to keep those lines open or the Boomers are incredibly stupid and not attempting to jam them.

Yes, that is correct. Just for the record I hate group answers, don't do it again. So we have Nene jamming the Boomers communications, which denies the Boomers the ability to work as one whole and keeping the Knight Sabers's communications open, allowing them to work as a whole. This work is vital. Yes Miss Phenil, this is once again based on conjecture and logic. I did attempt to speak to the Knight Sabers about their technology and battle SOPs but being a mercenary group they are hard to get in touch with. No, actually it's their publicists that gave me the most problems. Currently they are on a book signing tour. Yes, The Knight Sabers and Us, I have read it, those parts of it which aren't classified.

Yet there is still more that Nene probably has to do. No, Mr. Hatta, I really don't think that is one of the things. No, I can't know for sure. Mr. Komatsu, you are treading on very dangerous ground and if you continue on this course you may find yourself in a lot of trouble. I'm not one of your other profs.

Let's consider the battlefield again shall we. As Miss B-ko has mentioned intelligence is very important, the Knight Sabers no doubt know this. Because Mr. Kusama, if they didn't, they'd be dead. To be surprised would be deadly for the Knight Sabers. An AD Police tactical squad suddenly showing up, firing at the Knight Sabers as they attempt to destroy the Boomers. Backup from Genom, if they could send it in without being caught. Miss Madigan you and your company can get in line.

So, who is it that most likely monitors the radio frequencies and finds out whether the Knight Sabers can expect any interlopers on their battles? Priss! Officer McNichol, keep your personal feelings out of this discussion if they are going to be that poorly thought out. Anyone else? Mr. Saeba, that is interesting but totally inconsequential to the topic and not to mention somewhat disgusting. Miss Makimura, would you please? The ten ton one will be just fine. Anyone else? Thank you very much Miss Vincent, Nene is of course the correct answer. Could you ask your companion to put those grenades away?

How many frequencies does she have to monitor? Well, all of them really, Genom could use any of them but there probably are a few they like to use, clean ones with little chatter, say about ten. The AD Police tactical squads probably have four or five radio frequencies they use. So that's fifteen that she has to monitor all the time while giving some attention to the others. And remember, she has to keep the Boomers from being able to tune in to those frequencies while keeping them open for herself . Deny the enemy everything you can, including information.

Granted, a lot of this could be handled by a good computer system, making things easier, but you still need a hot operator to make it all come together. This operator is of course Nene, in my humble opinion of course. So, while Miss Romanova may not be the most combat oriented member of the group she is a vital part of it. Without her the Knight Sabers may find themselves in for a much harder fight than they would usually face.

Now, that about covers it so, Eeeeeeeek!!!!!! That little dwarf just stole my underwear!!! Stop him, give me that gun. DIE!!!!!!!!

Ahem. Well ladies and gentlemen, it seems that Professor Antaries is finished her part of this lecture. Before we move on are there any questions?



Disclaimer: Like I said, it's all conjecture, based on my own military and technical knowledge as well as logic. You won't find any of this in the B-club book or in the videos, though Crisis#8 certainly suggests it and Crash does more than that, but let's stick to the primary source. It's also important to note this has been written by a Nene fan. (And a Sylia and Priss fan but they don't even get half the ration of crap that Nene gets.)

Shitsurei Shimashita.



Back to Nene Romanova
Up to Bubblegum Crisis
Home to Fry Cooks on Venus


Nene, Goddess of the Battlefield
(in her own way)
(hit count image)
Brian Edmonds <brian@gweep.ca> April 26, 1998
[Colophon] [Best Viewed With Any Browser!]